Well it's like this Michele, not so good. Thank you for asking.
I had a sudden break down yesterday when I could not stop sobbing. It was a long, dramatic, loud production and I was glad that no one was around to be terrified by my behavior. Yes it is about my dog. Most people would have had their dog "put to sleep" by now but Jerry is alert he has a good appetite and his personality is as it always was. He just can't walk. I don't remember if I told that I had to have my son come to town to help me take him to the vet on a Saturday - a week or so ago. Jerry couldn't pee. That is serious and I was pretty sure it was the end. But the vet knows what I'm like with the cats and dogs and she drained his bladder and after thinking for awhile she gave me some pills. She told me these might allow the sphincter muscle to relax so he could urinate again on his own. Well - the pills have worked for sure. He drains almost constantly - tries to hold it and then he just lets go. We weighed him at the vets and he is down to 90 pounds and that is still to heavy for me to manage. And apparently it is too much for Jerry to manage. He absolutely refuses to go outside. With my help he has been able to go out but now he actively resists leaving the house. I keep his bed covered in all the towels I have. He'll crawl out of his bed if it's wet, and that is what he did yesterday and then he created an enormous yellow lake in the front room. I've never seen anything like it. I thought he was peeing on the towels but that must have just been leaks and then - the damn broke. So I know what is easiest for me physically but emotionally I can't justify it. God damn life is hard for someone like me who feels the feelings of animals so deeply. My parents raised six children and it seems like I got all the animal empathy because the rest of them never gave a shit! Not even a little bit. I often wish more people could empathize with animals and at the same time I wish I did not. It's a painful condition to live with. There is no one that can make the decision for me. He is not in pain but if there comes a time when he is then there is my decision. I won't let him suffer. If he quits eating or gets an infection - he's a goner. I am constantly washing towels and mopping the floor. I have one towel that I have kept for myself. Oh Michele - again - thank you for asking. Now you know more than you ever cared to know.
And God said "let there be light".
Then General Electric pushed him out of the way and the era of Corporate America was born to rule the universe.