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ali

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Dudettes/Dudes
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Reply with quote  #21 
Carol please tell your story in full.

I am sorry I called you a royal pain in the ass.

How you come across to me should not be a reason for name calling.  

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Gardener

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Reply with quote  #22 
Hunger is not fun at all. There have been times where I found myself flat broke without any food in the fridge or cupboards. For the first three days I would check every 15 to 30 minutes thinking something might magically appear. I was out of work and had no transportation to town. I think the longest I went without food was about two and a half weeks. For some reason after about a week it didn't really seem to matter as much. The first few days it is all that I could think about. Eventually things worked themselves out but it was definitely a low point. I tried writing and wrote several short stories which are still on Serialise.org after a misinterpretation of information I found online about writing being a way to make money without a job. There are writing or editing jobs available but writing is a difficult task. In hindsight going without made me a stronger person even though it felt like the end of the world at the time. There's always a way just put your mind to it and eventually it will work out. Don't give up.
carolkuk

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Reply with quote  #23 
Hi Ali and Gardener,

Thank you for responding.  It is my hope that we can come together.  First, I am sorry for anything I have done to offend either of you.  Please forgive me.  And, I forgive you Ali.

I just want to tell my story.  I tried in my own way, and everyone thought my dad died.  He didn't.  He died to me.  No longer Dad.  That was my point.  

So, I would like to tell the story.  In peace.  And I am asking that only Ali and Gardener respond.  Why?  You are the only two people I trust, here on this page.  I know this violates the First Amendment.  I just ask for some peace in writing this particular story.  For a couple of weeks.  PLEASE.  Then let me have it.  

You both said words that provoked me.  Ali, "you're still here" and Gardner, "don't give up."  If I listened to you Ali, I would not be here.  Please use those words with caution. But after seeing those words you posted, I KNOW I should still be here on the planet.  I am still here.  Gardener, I won't give up!





Gardener

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Reply with quote  #24 
I think I have read some of your posts. Your dad has Alzheimer's? Alzheimer's, Parkinson's, or similar conditions are very difficult people affected by those circumstances seem to revert to childlike behavior. When I was about 18 I lived above a store with my then brother in law's dad who had Parkinson's with mild Alzheimer's. He worked in the store as long as he could. That store and his Model A, five window coupe he built from scratch and were his pride and joy. He had the type of Parkinson's where he would shake and his muscles would freeze up so I would have to run upstairs from the store to check on him. Sometimes he would be stuck and I had to pick him up and get him going again. Some days were better than others. I got to know him and listened to his stories. He told me all about his time and experience in the Korean War and about his other adventures. He passed away one night I had put him to bed and went to a friend's house that night. I found him in the morning and had to break the news to friends and family. It was sad but I am glad I got to know him and hear his stories. As I get older more people I know are passing away or in poor health, it is important to focus on the positive experiences no matter how bad things get. I have some negative influences in my life also but I do my best to not let it get to me. Hopefully you can focus on the positive. Good luck with your writing projects.
michele

Dudettes/Dudes
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Reply with quote  #25 
My dad also has Alzheimers and he is now being moved into a different ward, as he is no longer mobile and barely responding.  I feel like I lost him a long time ago as my Dad, but it's most important that I am there for him and that he can feel the love. And he does. Allan and I have been there for him from the beginning since my mom died, and so has my brother and his wife. A strong family unit helps a lot.

Sometimes it's a positive visit in that he sees me (opens his eyes) and I get a huge smile which transforms his entire face and for a split second, he is my Dad again. Other times he doesn't open his eyes. He isn't sleeping, though, one time he did this all through dinner, when i was feeding him.

We are lucky in that he was a war vet, so he is in an excellent facility. He still loves to see pictures of dogs (we have a book and turn the pages, which is good for my to babble on as he doesn't talk), and just take it one day at a time. Most important is the love, though, the love does shine through. I know that sounds corny, but it's true.

I don't know how much longer I will have him with me. He grabs onto my hand and the little smiles mean so much. I take it one day at a time and always my focus is on him. I am strong, and fortunately, healthy. He needs me, and I want to be there for him.

That being said, we've cut our visits down to once, sometimes twice a week, as he's an hour and a half away. I don't feel guilty, though, because I know it's the best I can do. It's a balance, because I have to take care of me, too.
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