I know how trying it is. I'm not a psychiatrist, but is it possible that your dad is suffering from some type of dementia as well? I know that in the earlier stages, my father's behaviour was odd, and we just chocked it off to old age and a very stubborn man. But now seeing the bigger picture, there was definitely more going on.
Would a baby monitor be helpful? That way you could at least listen in (or the caregivers) if your father is not answering the phone, or maybe a 2 way communication system, like a walkie-talkie?
Some of the stories I could tell you . . . One, my Dad cashed out of his investments because he was getting paranoid. They sent him a cheque for some ridiculous amount, and Allan and I wanted to take him to the bank. Allan was trying to explain to him what the check was (his money that he'd cashed out). Only he'd forgotten that he'd cashed out his account, and was showing the cheque to everyone. He refused to believe us that he'd taken out everything, and did not want to go with us to the bank to re-deposit. It was so surreal, and just one example of trying to help someone with Dementia.
My Dad and I used to argue often, as well. He would push to the limits, and Allan would get frustrated. I have more patience, but we'd back off for a few days, and then he was fine. Or sometimes we'd get there, and he was in a bad mood, so I'd say we should come back, later. That would snap him out of it. Also, I'd say, Dad, if you're going to talk to me like this, I'll come back at another time. No, no, he'd say, don't go.
But Hag, you should not feel guilty, my God, after everything you're doing?! Plus, you are doing the best you can and your dad is lucky to have you. I think it's important that you take care of yourself, also, and not just travelling, which is great, but also do things daily for yourself, read or whatever makes you happy and detox from it all. You have to take care of yourself.
As for The Girl, she's young, hopefully this one won't be forever. Jacqueline has us tearing our hair out when she was younger, some of the guys she went out with. Lisa, not so much, but both the girls are with really great guys right now. But still, you worry. I can’t say I’m a fan of tattoos, but they are really popular now. I’ve said to Jacqueline, remember when you liked Sailor Moon? How would you feel, now, if you were plastered with Sailor Moon all over your body? So far they don’t have tattoos, but Lisa wants to get one of a lily, for my mom. The thing is, my mom didn’t like tattoos, she just called Lisa Lily, (we call her Leelee as a nic-name). Lisa says if she has a girl she’s going to call her Lily.
Traveling, I know. But I do think it’s easier for you than us. We’ve been to New York 3 or 4 times (love it) San Francisco, loved it, lots of places in the States, Boston recently (beautiful) but Europe and Britain is so expensive right now. Also, we’ve just been into the home-body thing . . . new puppy, etc. We will probably go somewhere next winter/spring.
If you want to come to Toronto we’d be happy to be your personal tour guides. Oh, and I know a GREAT fish and chips place! I can cook, too! I wouldn’t suggest the Winter as it’s cold, lots of snow . . . but there’s tons to do here. Then you could go to Quebec and see Montreal, and Quebec City, which is really pretty. You could go further East from there, too, depending on how long you had, into Maine, which is beautiful. OR you could go up North, which is beautiful, too. Lots to see, here.
We live about an hour from Toronto, an hour from the falls. I love where we are because we are surrounded by nature, but the city is near. It’s pretty here. I am in a calm place in my life (for now, my Dad, not so much but I’ve learned to live with that) and would love to personally escort you around. There are lots of great places in the city, and with your dollar it would be cheap. You’d be most welcome, and we even have an extra room so you could make yourselves at home. J