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Keep the heid
Posts: 12,521
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Those who have me on FB may have seen that dad had an accident last week and hit his head off his glass TV stand and knocked himself out.  He has an horrific gash on the back of his head and has been in hospital since.  Unfortunately he's not good and seems to be deteriorating badly, both mentally and physically.  He will be 89 next week and has been suffering various medical problems for some years and this has I fear pushed him to his limit.  He has been in hospital since the accident last Wednesday and may not actually be discharged back home, but to a nursing home.  I'm hoping not as I have experienced that people seem to deteriorate VERY quickly in such places.  We will have to see.  We are actually considering having him live with us but that would mean a move as my home is not suitable for someone in his condition.  He would not make the stairs and I do not have downstairs bathroom facilities that he would need.  I'm just so concerned that he would not see the year out in a home.  Such a worry.

Meantime he is in a convalescence hospital getting physical and occupational therapy but he has gone down so much this past week he can't even walk now without a frame.  He's not coping with the accident or his condition.  It's taking me right back to mum as she became totally bed bound and couldn't even sit up.

This part of life is the pits.  And we can do little about it!


I love everybody.  Some I love to be around, some I love to avoid and others I'd love to punch in the face. <~~~~ for Jeff vid clips

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Posts: 3,077
Reply with quote  #2 
That is tough to hear about your father and tough for you to go through.  Whatever is supposed to happen will probably happen. Best of luck to you and your family.

What I mean is that if he is meant to come home - he will come home but if he is better off in another place the medical staff will help you make that decision, I'm sure.

And God said "let there be light".
Then General Electric pushed him out of the way and the era of Corporate America was born to rule the universe.

Posts: 1,695
Reply with quote  #3 
Oh Helen,

I've been thinking about you and your dad. Oh my, so, so sorry you don't have a better report.

Can you choose which home? Get a report on them? Some are better than others, don't be fooled by the exterior. I was told this before my dad was accepted to the Veteran's home - it's the staff that makes the place. 

Do you have a senior's outreach there? Here there is a support group, and they are connected with all the homes, etc. You get a caseworker. Is there something there for you?

Sometimes people can recover. My dad broke his hip last year, at 92. He had to have surgery, and we had to make the call as to whether or not he should have it. We decided to go ahead, as that's what he would have wanted, rather than living out his days in terrible pain. We did not know if he would wake up from the operation.

Not only did he survive, but he walked again with a walker. Even the doctor had told me he didn't think his chances of pulling through were good, and was amazed at his progress.

At 89, your Dad walking without a walker (before) is amazing. 

I'm so hoping that your dad does recover. My dad also suffered a terrible set-back, not just physically, but cognitively, but he seems to have regained that back--- to the degree that he was (with advanced Alzheimer's but he still knows me). So you never know. 

When it's bad I think the only thing that I can do is be there for him. And you are.

And we are here for you. xo


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Pinkie in the Pink Palace
Posts: 8,169
Reply with quote  #4 
Helen, so sorry this happened, and I hope it turns out well for your father and your family, I hope he improves a lot, feels much better. Please keep us posted with updates.
"more sinned against than sinning"--shall be on my tombstone

"Transpersonal psychology--transcend the self, to abolish and avoid pain...what is the self, anyway?"--Pinkie
"Queen of Pain, I'll Always be Queen of Pain" (laughs)with apologies to Sting
"Yes it's over now, drink your big black cow, and get outa here"--Steely Dan
"I'm just a girl, they think I'm some kind of freak"--Gwen Stefani
"You can beat us with wires, you can beat us with chains;
You can make all your rules but you can't outrun the history train...I seen a glorious day"--Paul Simon

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Posts: 4,303
Reply with quote  #5 
I'm so sorry, Helen. Like Michele said, there are a whole range of homes - can you go check some out? It doesn't seem possible that you could move yourselves quickly enough to accommodate him, does it? My heart goes out to you! 
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