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michele

Dudettes/Dudes
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Posts: 1,456
Reply with quote  #11 
Hi Carol,

I'm sorry you're going through such a tough time. Like Ali, I wasn't sure what to say, yet I didn't feel right not responding. She said it best, but I will add that sometimes on the Internet, things can be misinterpreted. I have met Nicky and can attest that she is a kind, compassionate and loving person, and she was by no means sloughing you off, but trying to guide you as to the best way to have Jeff see your request.

He has made it known that he doesn't speak to people personally through the board. Perhaps he would sign something for your father, if you were to contact his assistant? 

Please take care in your trying time.
Gardener

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Posts: 22
Reply with quote  #12 
Not sure if this will help you people have to deal with things in their own way. I took care of then my brother in law's father who had a type of Parkinson's and Alzheimer's. He told me all about his life and experiences before he died. It was very painful to watch such a proud person have to rely on someone else. A little down the road one of my grandfathers died from stomach cancer. He was a tough old cowboy that held out as long as he could. My other grandfather had a stroke and because he was a proud person he shot himself. A month after a coworker died from cancer. My grandmother died from loneliness after my grandfather took his life. Next my uncle died from cancer and my dad got sick and had to have a kidney removed at around the same time. Recently a cousin who was an MMA fighter got decapitated in a car wreck. A lot of other people I had gotten to know through various jobs and other activities died. For a while I became a recluse and pushed away all of my friends and even now I almost don't want to know new people. What helped me deal with all the loss was a book called Siddhartha by Herman Hesse. It gave me a different perspective in dealing with loss. Times sound very tough for you but reading about your dad enjoying the local bowling alley makes me think he has optimism left despite difficult times. For some reason The Big Lebowski cheers me up when I start thinking about hard times. I could see how Jeff's personality can lift spirits. Hopefully I am not offending you but I think in time you will reflect on the good memories of your father such as the bowling alley. I don't know you but I don't think people on this website dislike you it is just difficult for most people to deal with loss. My regret is not spending more time with the people I have lost and the people that I will lose over time. Be patient and do the best you can. I used to ask this customer that came in a store I worked at "What's going on?" and his reply was always "Time and the river". I finally understand what he meant.
Nicky

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Reply with quote  #13 
Thank you, Ali and Michele. Obviously I wasn't saying Carol's father is only worthy of a guest book - I don't even know what that means. 

Gardener, your wise and kind writing made me teary. 
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